Pregnant women.

Folks, I have nothing against getting married and having kids. I have no problem with not getting married and just getting knocked up. That happened to me when I was 16 and I have the world's coolest almost 3 year old that I legally have no obligations to. Meaning, I get to see my child, and I love her and she loves me but I am SUPER happy I don't have to teach her how to poop in a toilet, or wipe the poop for that matter. Kids are great but I am not ready for a screaming, kicking sack of meat and skin that poops and draws on walls. The only problem I have with these children is their mothers. I hate pregnant women. I hate them. I don't care if you put your ultrasound pictures up or belly pictures, that is fine and I wish I would've documented my pregnancy but mostly me being pregnant looked like this.

Reason it wasn't documented.

That guy right there is not my baby daddy. But anyways, what I hate is when these girls are like,"I can't wait to meet this sweet angel." Holy shit its a baby, when you are pushing that "sweet angel" out you will totally change your mind. When there is a 6 - 9 lbs. being forced out of your body BY your body, you are not calling this baby an angel, more like a road block into being comfortable. Plus then you go into shock right after this muscle and bone burrito has been passed. Don't get me wrong, I cried when I had my baby, I was very happy and I love her more than I could love anyone, but 28 hours of labor, and hunger and thirst makes you a little bit testy. I remember having a contraction so painful I was writhing, all I said was this ,"GTFO BABY!" I was not happy about being in pain. One reason that I was even angrier was because I only got to keep her for 48 hours and my ex boyfriend/baby daddy was being a dick. If you are confused, I placed my baby for adoption.

She's pretty cool.

Back to my original point, when they say I can't wait to meet them, even though you have been pregnant for almost 9 months. Ok, to the males who read this, its ok if you don't understand and if you say that you are excited to meet your infant. But us females, we know the personality of our fetus by the time they start kicking. Take Piper for instance, she would stick all four of her limbs out and you could see them stick out. As soon as I pushed them back in she would push back that much harder! She is the same way now, she is a smart ass. One time I told her not to color on a certain page because I wanted to color that page. She then looked at me like I was stupid and said,"Mommy Brooke, you are weird for wanting to color that page." I just looked at her like she was stupid and said," You're weird!" Yes, I called my daughter weird. The point is that when she stuck her arms and legs out when she was a fetus she would've said something like,"Nigga! Quit pushing my arms and legs back in!" Thus meaning I have known her personality since before she was considered a human. Mostly, its one girl in particular that I just want to hit.