Guide to a drunken Minor.

So as you can tell, I drink...and I drink a lot. The longest I have been sober was 2 weeks in the middle of April because I was too depressed to do anything else besides make money and order large stuffed crust pizzas to eat by myself while I wept from loneliness and played Zelda, since Link was the only man who satisfied me, sexually and mentally. Creepy right? Anyways, I drink on the weekends to protect myself from being a complete alcoholic and because what kind of person drinks in the middle of the week alone? Unhappy married people, rapists and baby killers that's who. But everyone has stages of drunkenness, I have about 4, and I even have pictures to go alone with the layers of drunkenness.

Pretty normal face for me.

First Step: Tipsy
Tipsy Brooke is a normal Brooke, just a little bit less awkward. I am more willing to jump into a conversation, or play a drinking game. This state doesn't last long, for there is more alcohol to be had. Things I have said in this state are, "But cats are animals guys!" And yes, cats most definitely are animals.




Second Step: Low Level Drunk

Not so sober

At this state, our test subject Brooke, will take off her shirt because it is too damn hot to wear one while you are playing pool. This is a good level to be at if you want to go home and not wake anyone up, or if you want to refrain from random outbursts of tears, that of which happens A LOT when I am alone and drunk. Good things I have said,"I feel like you are a faggot if you call me a dainty kisser." I really don't feel dainty when I kiss but I guess its possible.

This might actually be pretty.

Third Step: High Level Drunk:
This phase is the level where I have started smoking other people's cigarettes and I am no longer wearing pants because who needs pants?! I will also start to refuse taking shots at this point because I do not want the next phase to happen. Kissing random people and not comprehending people are also symptoms that I might be highly intoxicated. I have no good quotes from me being drunk at this phase, its all pretty much just me laughing and saying how warm I am with pants on, but I will give you one anyways," If I am ever single again....Man that boy is in troublllllllllle."

I...yeah....no comment

Fourth Step: Blackout
I apparently seduce people into having sex on front lawns, which sadly enough has happened once and possibly another time as well, so yeah twice...I don't get what is so attractive about lawn sex since I am really allergic to grass. This is the blackout phase that I almost never get to because I don't like not knowing what happened from point A to whatever point I might be at in the morning. I have only been here 4 times. I don't enjoy it at all, though its kinda fun to find clues as to what happened that previous night.


So there you have it, a guide to a drunk Brooke, I suck at closing statements so this is the end of the blog. Haters gonna hate!

Awesome.