Spanish Fork, Utah is ruining lives.

I have a friend, her name is Jessica. I love her dearly and miss her crazy antics. Everyday my heart grows more and more sorrowful everyday that I cannot see her. What really sucks is that we live, oh maybe, 15 minutes away if you want to take the slowest/longest road in America, Spanish Fork Main St. So she texts me today saying she feels kinda sick and that I should probably come over tonight. Note as aforementioned I haven't left my house since Saturday night, so I am DYING to leave my house. I tell her that I will be there soon and head for the bus stop. As soon as I get to cross the street, with the stop in my eyesight, that stupid mother fucking bus comes and goes. I just stopped walking for a minute because I was mad. But I pick up my feet and walk to the bus stop anyways because there might be another one in the next half an hour. I go and check and there isn't one until 9:30, an hour and a half later. So I got really mad and told Jess that I couldn't come over, and then I decided to explain how Spanish Fork can suck my balls and need to be a real metropolitan city instead of a fucking cow town. So I have written this letter in hopes that this town will take it to heart.

Dear Spanish Fork,
I know we haven't been together for very long but I miss my friend and I would like to go and see her, and you won't allow me to. This frustrates me dearly. You forced me to put pants on and walk a third of a mile in hopes of seeing her and then squashed that hope and innermost desire. Thank you. I suggest that you improve your attitude toward me or else this relationship will have to end abruptly.
Hoping to go all the way with you,
Brooke Hemsath