Ex boyfriend.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TRAVEL FASTER!! You have been gone for only 48 hours, but I just got a text from you that said you are on your way home. Can I just tell you how excited I am?!?! Please bring me my Pepsi, cigarettes, kitty and mansion. I knew I loved you for a reason, and its not just the "you're buying me some stuff part", its the "Holy shit I am so excited to see you that I am actually cooking dinner for you, and I washed the dishes." I even put on deodorant just so you couldn't smell me when you arrived. You should never go to drill again, but if you do PLEASE LEAVE ME YOUR CAR!!!!! I could've gone to see starbucks boy last night, but I was immobile. You just texted me back saying that you were happy to come home to a spaztic Brooke, or as I call myself in my head, Ekoorb. Landon, I am glad we still live together even though we broke up 5 days ago. I like it because we still are really awesome friends. I will see you in about 45 minutes so I am going to start cooking you dinner and put on make up so MAYBE I can get lucky with you tonight, seeing as we still sleep in the same bed. And who doesn't want sex?!


*Readers you have to read this post at a million miles per hour because that is how I am saying it in my head!!!!!