I hate topic sentences. That sentence right there, though complete, is not a topic sentence. A topic sentence is when the writer states the whole main idea of the essay/article of writing with the very first sentence. This would've been a more appropriate sentence: I tend to be afraid of weird things. That sentence is what I should have started with but I deleted a bunch of different ideas for an opening paragraph because it got my creative juices a-flowin'. Anyway, I am afraid of strange things. Most of my friends are afraid of things like spiders, dolls and clowns I have more absurd, irrational phobias, though spiders, dolls and clowns are creepy I don't necessarily fear them.
5. The Dark- This is pretty normal for the human race, because the dark is freaking scary. I have this unstable mind that likes to play tricks on me in the dark. As such, it is 8:05 AM and I haven't slept because it was dark and I didn't want to move from my bed. We all know that blankets are invincible against ghosts, demons, scary children and the unknown. I hate the dark. I have to have a television on or some sort of electrical hum accompanied by light and more sound, aside from white noise. That scares the crap out of me more than the dark does. Heebie Jeebies to So scared I pooped, the dark would get a solid I Just Pissed Myself.
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| Monsters are scary. |
4. The Sound of Spiders Crunching- Everyone has a sound they hate. This is one of them. I am not afraid of spiders but I can almost never smash them because of the stupid crunching sound. It sounds similar to stepping on a golden autumn leaf on a crisp October afternoon, but instead its an ugly brown thing with 8 legs the has an bajillion eyes, bites you and invades your home when its cold or raining. Oh, did I mention that is guts fly at you as well as sounding god awful!? Yeah. Dislike. A great amount. Two thumbs down.
3. Losing teeth - I have dreams every other night about me losing my two front teeth. I wake up anxious and drenched in a cold sweat because of it. I have always feared losing my teeth. I had to get my first two teeth pulled when I was 4 because my adult teeth were growing in. My mom had to force me into the chair and then pry me out of it when they were done. I have only hit my mom once, and that was the day I pounded my fists against her chest. I had some serious separation anxiety when it came to my teeth. I still do. I brush and floss up to 3 times a day because I am just that paranoid. I also still have all my baby teeth stored in a box somewhere around here. I would leave notes under my pillow because I wasn't gonna give some strange fairy MY teeth! Who does she/he think he/she is?! GOD?! I think not.
2. Raccoons- Yes the animal. I hate them. Those little fruit stealing Mexican bandits. If you bug them they hiss at you. If you are nice to them, the hiss at you and then bite you with their rabies infested saliva and then steal your fruit. Apparently though, Raccoons like Jager. I have a few friends that got one drunk. I am glad we were not friends at that point because I FUCKING HATE RACCOONS! They are cute from a distance, they are not cute when you find them eating inside of a trash can and you have to run for your life so El Bandito won't come after you.
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| I couldn't find a raccoon with a sombrero so this will have to do. |
1. Humboldt Squid- Let me describes these nautical monsters for you. The can grow to be 6 feet long and 100 lbs. and they flash red and white. They only live for about a year and their predators are things like sharks, sperm whales and seals. Oh, but does that effect these little guys? Nope! They have razor sharp teeth inside of their suckers that can tear up a huge animal within minutes. They also attack human divers and are known to be cannibalistic. They travel in groups on 1200 and can jump out of the water. Now you might be saying,"Brooke, these are squids, and Utah doesn't have any Squids." No Utah doesn't have any of these guys swimming around but they live off of the coast of Orange County, which is where I am from and where Disneyland is located (714 represent). Did I mention they live off the COAST...a short trek from the shoreline where normal people are. I hate them. I live in complete fear of them. I would like to eat them instead of them eating me.
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| Sucker teeth, looks like it from the movie "Teeth" |
I feel like these fears aren't completely far-fetched but at the same time I don't know very many people who are afraid of an invertebrate that lives several hundreds of miles away from where I currently am. My fears when I was little were way worse though. I was severely threatened by the weather. If it was anywhere over 96 degrees I would panic. Like full on anxiety panic. My family and I visited Utah for Vacation once and it got down to 34 degrees....I panicked then too. My mom had to pump antihistamine into my system so I would pass out and forget about how I was going to freeze to death.
I also greatly feared having a heart attack. This was brought on by a show on the discovery channel where it describes this unhealthy guy's diet and his lack of exercise, then an artery strips ever so slightly and fat stuck to the walls of the artery leaving the guy with cut off circulation to his heart. Scared the ever-living SHIT out of me. I would sprint down to my parents room and have my mom check my heart beat because I couldn't feel it. I don't give my mom enough credit for the retarded crap I was afraid of when I was little.
On a different note I am not afraid of:
-Spiders
-Needles, in fact I like needles.
- Bees
- Death
Spiders do creep me out though just because of the way they move but I won't jump out of my skin if I see one. Though, centipedes....I will scream and run. I hate those guys, they are ugly and hairy and gross.
Bees are fine. I don't have any problems with bees. I have them land on me all the time and I don't fidget, they are nice logical insects. And needles aren't scary because they are usually being stabbed into you to help you not hurt you. Or for piercings and tattoos which I love.
Odd duckling or not I am glad to be back into the wonderful world of blogging. I missed it. I have a few more ideas up my sleeve for future blogs so have a weary eye!
